Post by Martha on Oct 22, 2007 18:02:09 GMT -5
...I'd like to go onto slightly more important matters. "Transformers: The Movie." What a damp crusty wank-rag of a movie that was.
OK, so the guys at work are raving about it. Just raving. They're like "You have to see this movie! This is the greatest movie ever!" And I'm like, "Chill, dudes, I didn't even like the cartoon. Also I'm twenty-seven years old." And they're like, "But this movie will change your life! It will change your perception of the world around you!"
Ladies and gentlemen, that movie was the biggest steaming pile of celluloid shite that I have seen since "Bad Boys 2". And like "Bad Boys 2", most of it seemed to consist of THE SAME THREE FRAMES OF CRAP CAR CHASES being played over and over and over again.
And the robots! What fucking robots? Only two of them even appeared in the first hour or so. And when the rest of them showed up, it wasn't like anybody could remember who they were, or distinguish between them or anything. This is the worst edited movie I've ever seen. Oh yeah, I remember the robot who's really a yellow car, or the yellow car who's really a robot or something. And the one who speaks completely in pomposities and gets kicked about a lot. (Actually, come to think of it, he's the one character I could kinda relate to.) But they don't introduce the main villain until like the last fifteen minutes and then he does fuck-all except chase some retarded kid up to the top of some building when the kid could just run into the subway and the robot if he really wanted could crush him with one sweep of his foot. Also, considering these are supposed to be giant fuckoff robots, they're surprisingly light on robotic superpower stuff. A couple of them piss on people I guess. For comedic effect. Faff off, pissing robots.
I'm sorry for that rant, I just wanted to get it out of my system. Thanks for reading.
OK, so the guys at work are raving about it. Just raving. They're like "You have to see this movie! This is the greatest movie ever!" And I'm like, "Chill, dudes, I didn't even like the cartoon. Also I'm twenty-seven years old." And they're like, "But this movie will change your life! It will change your perception of the world around you!"
Ladies and gentlemen, that movie was the biggest steaming pile of celluloid shite that I have seen since "Bad Boys 2". And like "Bad Boys 2", most of it seemed to consist of THE SAME THREE FRAMES OF CRAP CAR CHASES being played over and over and over again.
And the robots! What fucking robots? Only two of them even appeared in the first hour or so. And when the rest of them showed up, it wasn't like anybody could remember who they were, or distinguish between them or anything. This is the worst edited movie I've ever seen. Oh yeah, I remember the robot who's really a yellow car, or the yellow car who's really a robot or something. And the one who speaks completely in pomposities and gets kicked about a lot. (Actually, come to think of it, he's the one character I could kinda relate to.) But they don't introduce the main villain until like the last fifteen minutes and then he does fuck-all except chase some retarded kid up to the top of some building when the kid could just run into the subway and the robot if he really wanted could crush him with one sweep of his foot. Also, considering these are supposed to be giant fuckoff robots, they're surprisingly light on robotic superpower stuff. A couple of them piss on people I guess. For comedic effect. Faff off, pissing robots.
I'm sorry for that rant, I just wanted to get it out of my system. Thanks for reading.
Although where the heck did you get that picture of Cain, and can he and I swap places?
