EPISODE 1 PRAYERS (Dedicated thread)

[Martha]

I'm going to ruthlessly ape Judith in this game and write my Spies 4-related confessionals in character. These confessionals will contain no reference to previous Spies games. I will make a new confessional for each episode.

[Martha]

OK... let's start this one with an explanation. It contains references to previous Spies games - sorry! - but nothing a new person wouldn't be able to follow, so bear with me.

My name is David. I'm 27 years old and a backroom TS guy, which is like the frontroom TS guy I was two years ago except now I get paid more for doing the same job. Which is kinda nice. To those of you more familiar with "Yves" who was until the end of Spies 3 my pseudonym: I don't drink or smoke, I'm not fat (in fact I'm stick thin), I do have really thick glasses which annoys me no end, and I occasionally jump off buildings as a hobby. I also jumped out of a plane once, but it didn't go so well. (I missed the landing spot... in fact I missed the entire frikkin' airfield.)

I've been in three Spies games so far: Spies 1, Spies 2, and Spies 3. (If you read the first two, you probably called the third one correctly.) Each time I've played an individual character who's somewhat "out there".

So my BRILLIANT MASTERPLAN is: 1) to copy someone else from the Spies series who most people would recognise, thereby shielding them and myself from accusations; and, 2) to play a character who is very normal and familiar to anyone who's reading this. Someone, in fact, without any peculiarities.

Unlike my last three:

Spies 1 - Gerta Dowling, 57, truck driver. Loosely based on Charlize Theron's oscar-winning performance as the serial killer Aileen Wuornos in the film "Monster". Which just about says it all.

Spies 2 - Tyson Brown, 21, rap artist. Basically a combination of soap-pop clothes horse Sisqo, and that awful Bush-supporting race-traitor who can't actually rap, 50 Cent. And, like 50-Cent (if the rumours are true), Tyson was a killer android.

Spies 3 - Reicheru Mikazuki, 18, Japanese ninja fleeing the Yakuza boss who's trying to take over the world. (Who fell deeply and tragically in love with a video store clerk Tenchi, for a while blissfully ignorant that these two would eventually face each other in the finale of a game that Tenchi would win... Yep, Spies 3 is the classic tragic love story. )

So anyway, that's the plan. To write confessionals in character, first of all; and make sure that that character isn't esoteric at all. Nope, Martha Riley is going to be the essence of an elderly country lady in comfortable circumstances who suddenly finds herself in deadly peril and reacts as such. Nothing unusual about her otherwise.

Not a thing.

Nope.

So anyways, I'd better get my first confessional started. In a shout-out to best citizen Judith from Spies 3, I'm going to do it in her epistolary style. But unlike Judith, even though we have a dead husband apiece, I'm not going to be writing to William. It occurred to me to write my confessionals in the form of a prayer; because what could be more normal than an old religious lady who speaks to her deity on a regular basis? Not much, I'd bet!

So here we go...






































DEAR SATAN,

Your most loyal and devoted acolyte looks with anticipation towards the coming of the Dark Lord and thanks you for your most generous bounty since she killed all of those people at your command. A situation has arisen, however, that may provide much innocent fruit to be devoured and ensnared by Your Magnificent Temptation. A small group of determined but insignificant villagers has started down a path that divides them from their kindred and their kin. I do not foresee any great difficulty in dealing with these upstarts, who I perceive as clearly unworthy to bathe in the True Darkness of your spirit, but their actions may cause much unrest and suffering in the Burg. This is a situation that we may exploit.

As ever, I wait with infinite patience until you command me to go forth once more and slay those who would defy you.

Your truest acolyte, Martha.



(David's note: I may have spotted a slight flaw in the brilliant masterplan. Oh well...)

[Martha]

DEAR SATAN,

I've just seen Faizah's "introductions". Bloody hell!

[Martha]

DEAR SATAN.

I have just finished talking to Sherri, who, despite her agnosticism, can (in my humble opinion) be turned to the Dark Side with relative ease. Unfortunately she has no rabbits, but an acolyte is more valuable than a sacrifice. (Well, maybe not a very cute sacrifice...) I would hesitate to call her sympathetic to our cause, but her love for her children is a valuable lever that I have no doubt could be used to sway her point of view in time. In terms of dealing with these upstart Spies, I do not know how useful an ally she might be. Not that we need her, with all the power of the Dark Lord on our side, but it is always important to have friends in the right places, is it not?

This "Masaki" girl could take a few lessons about remaining cheerful and upbeat. Many unspeakable acts are rooted in perverted optimism. One hesitates to invoke those incurable romantics, the Nazis, who were always an idealistic people - such a crude cliche, don't you think? - but it seems to me that people who believe in a world view, no matter how seemingly righteous, are always the ones who delude themselves into believing that the "end always justifies the means" - even if those means include mass murder. Evil is not born out of depressed cynicism. No, it grieves me to report that Masaki is not worth our time or my breath. She will doubtless be crushed when the time comes...

We will speak again soon, my liege.

Your humble acolyte, Martha.

[Martha]

Dear Satan,

As your Dark Lordship knows, I thrive on seeing people reach their full potential. Madison, who I have just spoken to at some length, shows much promise romantically. Given the right boy, perhaps Leon... *sigh...* For our specific purposes, however, she may not show so much potential. She is a Christian, therefore making her a natural enemy of yours - although lapsed Christians are so much better, for our purposes, than your everyday Agnostic, are they not? - and not at all amenable to the kind of temptations that your humble acolyte can provide. She is also the first person I have met to show certain qualities that may perhaps be useful to the upstart Traitors within our midst. She is young, vivid, and somewhat charming. One wishes that she could be turned, but one also doubts. A pity... it may be that we will have to crush her like an insect. Oh well.

I have briefly met Leon. He is impetuous, yet shy, and I have not had time to find out much about him. He shows potential though... Josef Goebbels and Heinrich Himmler were both timid children with something of an artistic bent to their natures. One thing I immediately like about this Leon is that when you speak, he answers, and answers fast. (And you know how much I dislike people who let you meander on without putting a word of their own in.) I have a feeling that Leon and I will get on very well together, if he can stay around for long enough.

[Martha]

DEAR SATAN,

NAOMI shows definite promise. What a lovely ripe young thing she is! As for our Purpose... let us say that I pushed her perhaps harder than I usually would at a first meeting, and she did not flinch. If she were a spy she would be... let us not say worrisome, that seems to overstate it - for what is one human being against the power of the Dark Lord? - but troubling. Definitely troubling. I have high hopes, however, that she will be an excellent recruit to our cause. If we were to ally together, we could perhaps speed up the spies' inevitable defeat.

Grace, I must admit, seems somewhat odd. What kind of a person refers to the male penis as a "weapon"? This does not seem to be the kind of lost soul that looks for answers (at least, not the kind that your humble acolyte can provide for her). She has her own agenda. Could be trouble.

Kiyoshi I immediately took something of a dislike to - what kind of a person takes two minutes to write the word "lol"? Apart from an exceptionally irritating one - and there seems to be very little to him. He is slightly philosophical and reminds me strangely of a man I used to know. I cannot, however, instinctively recall that man's name. Is that not odd?

And finally, Jeremiah. This character could easily be our greatest opponent. His belief system is diametrically opposed to our own, even if he does not know it as yet. I mentioned to him that he reminds me of my late husband. Whether he will share that unfortunate man's fate is yet to be determined... what a pity I had to dispose of the object afterwards, it might come in handy now.

TTYL.

Martha.

[Martha]

DEAR SATAN,

Let us now discuss Faziah. Or let us not, because it would take a linguistics genius to decode an eighth of what she says. What is she on about? And come to think of it, what is she on, period? Your humble acolyte is baffled. It's not as if I were reincarnated from the past identity of - say - a gangsta-rapper-turned-killer-robot-turned-ruthless-spy, and therefore have some insight into how she thinks. These things just don't happen.

Ralph shows promise. Our Chippendale is certainly no stranger to the wild life, and this may be turned from mere hedonism into a more constructive life of sin. He may be tempted by our Scarlet Whore, Beverly. I question, however, his dedication. This is a man dedicated to the "now" without long-term beliefs or convictions to speak of. A blank canvas is no good to us if that canvas is already black, for what colours will show through? Were I to introduce him to your nefarious pleasures, I believe this individual would merely sample them before flitting away to the next available treat. Moreover his devil-may-care attitude may be a clever cover for the dedicated traitor he really is; in which case we will have to crush him like a worm.

And finally, there is Gordy. What promise he shows! Perhaps more than anybody else. Here is a man already devoted to the dark side of human nature, an experimentor in sexual deviancy, addictive drugs, and unnatural philosophy. This man is a thinker and mathematician. Such people are dangerous because of their distorted worldly viewpoints. You taught me that, Dark One. For when considering the massive worldly balance between good and evil, a balance that stretches throughout time and space, what insignificant beings are people! I have got used to considering them as insects, ants that you boil to death in their homes with their families should they so much as settle in the wrong part of your garden. Gordy, I am sure, can be taught to see the world through your eyes, Dark Liege. Just as I have.

I await your instructions. These upstart traitors will pay with their blood and their bile for trying to usurp your rightful place.

Talk soon.

Martha.

[Martha]

DEAR SATAN,

I have found two things out about Masaki that may intrigue your Dark Lordship: 1) that she is a man (something that I have never suspected before), and 2) that she actually talks some sense when drawn. Unfortunately it has never been my liking to have to "draw" information from people.

Lucky, then, that my two other family members are Leon and Naomi. Both seem to be fairly strong personalities with decided opinions of their own. Of course, for our purposes, a core set of opinions and beliefs is not anything like an advantage; but the fact remains that, however tempting it might be to just kill the traitors in their sleep, there are ways and means that must be observed here. And those ways by necessity include cooperation with the civillians, no matter who they are or what their devotion to our great Cause is.

[Martha]

DEAR SATAN,

In a situation like this, I have always found it prudent to have someone who can be trusted to voice your opinion as though it was their own. A "mouth", if you like. I may just have found that very person in Summer. As a recruit she seems less than promising, although she exhibits certain kleptomaniac tendencies that may be exploited in the future. To you, Dark Lord, I only wish to present the best; and Gordy, Naomi and Lloyd show so much more promise than this child of the seasons. Nonetheless, I believe she can aid us in our endeavours to find and cast out the traitors that hinder our plans for the people of the Burg. She will be all the more useful if she acts unwittingly at Your request.

I have had very little opportunity to do your bidding in this place tonight, but once the first sacrificial lamb is slaughtered by the traitors tomorrow night, I will be in a much better position to serve you. Dark Lord, keep your truest acolyte safe from harm, and protect her from these upstart traitors who would seek to usurp you.

The strong arm of your steely will,

Martha.

[Martha]

DEAR SATAN,

Could it be that you have forsaken me in my darkest hour? But of course not. I can feel your presence and hear your voice at all times of day. The wretched Beverly seems quite determined to cast me in the role of traitor. Ironic, is it not? I have had to exercise much restraint in order to not just take her head off. Unfortunately these rules of etiquette must be adhered to...

Just when all hope seemed lost, my Liege, a plan emerges! Abrams knows who I am and has a huge influence over this vote. Putting myself up against him, therefore, is clearly suicidal. But wait! What if Abrams himself were to have some kind of a role - and I know about it?

So, taking a clear gamble, I have elected to tell two possible traitors (Gordy and Singe) that whatever else happens, Abrams must not be exiled. (If Abrams asks about this, I can always say it's because others have discovered who I am.) This accomplishes two things.

1) It makes it clear to them that I am NOT going to be put up against Abrams - something I myself have made clear in the Burg, many times over. Abrams himself will be much less inclined to use accusation votes against me if this is the case.

2) It makes it look as though I, a civillian, am sacrificing myself for the sake of the other civillians - for what spy would do such a thing? - and therefore am automatically cleared.

In less than twenty-four hours' time, we will see if the gamble has paid off. Of course, it is entirely possible (although extremely unlikely) that Abrams himself is a spy. If this is the case, I am dead anyway, since Abrams and his fellow spies will use the accusation votes no matter what happens.

I have work to do now. The civillians will need a sacrifice, and a better one than either me or Abrams, if I am to survive this night; for if Abrams is targeted, I will surely be exiled. The odds are stacked against me. But then, when has that ever stopped me from executing your will?

Your truest and most faithful acolyte,

Martha.

[Martha]

"Saving" Abrams by hinting he has a role - thereby hopefully saving myself - Bad plan? Good plan that just didn't work out? Comments, please!

Also Leon, how's it feel to be compared to Heinrich Himmler?

[Naomi]

OMG!

I LOL'd sooo hard!

DEAR SATAN!

[Zander]

martha said:

"Saving" Abrams by hinting he has a role - thereby hopefully saving myself - Bad plan? Good plan that just didn't work out? Comments, please!

Also Leon, how's it feel to be compared to Heinrich Himmler?

Bad plan, I saw right through it and posted such in my confessionals and vote threads.

[Beverly]

I PRAY FOR SHORTER POSTS

[Martha]

beverly said:

I PRAY FOR SHORTER POSTS

Not even Satan will get you that from me.

Hey whadd'ya know - short post!

[Sherri]

martha said:

Spies 3 - Reicheru Mikazuki, 18, Japanese ninja fleeing the Yakuza boss who's trying to take over the world. (Who fell deeply and tragically in love with a video store clerk Tenchi, for a while blissfully ignorant that these two would eventually face each other in the finale of a game that Tenchi would win... Yep, Spies 3 is the classic tragic love story. )
/quote]

I was a Pizza Delivery boy dammit!!!

And reading these were scary... good thing I don't have to see another set of these next episode...

Still, good effort.

[Martha]

Well thanks Sherri. But who was the video store clerk I was in love with in Spies 3?

[Candy]

1) I laughed out loud at DEAR SATAN too, did not see that coming.

2) I laughed again when you said "this "Masaki" girl"

3) I laughed one more time at "I PRAY FOR SHORTER POSTS"

4) I laughed again because you worshipped the devil and you were exiled first, oh the delicious irony

5) HARRRRRRRRRRR

[Beverly]

REICHERU GONE WILD

[Johan]

If only you had Ventrilo, David/Yves/Martha/WTFever your real name is these days ;D I have a satan voice mod I use for Warcraft that Martha would have loved!
Awesome confessional, I wish you would have survived longer :/

[Martha]

Yeah, I gotta stop playing serial killers / mass murderers in Spies. That's two in four games.

But thanks for the belated Martha love.

[Masaki]

MASAKI IS A HE

[Lloyd]

martha said:

the male penis

I lol'ed

[Masaki]

Martha, this makes me fear you ten times more than I ever thought was possible.

[Summer]

"Dear Satan!"

I think that's the first time you've ever made me laugh, Yves. Good job.

[Martha]

summer said:

"Dear Satan!"

I think that's the first time you've ever made me laugh, Yves. Good job.

W00t! More Summer lovin'!

But it's DAVID please. Yves has been dead and buried since the end of Spies 3. (Also Sam knew me as David LONG before I invented "Yves".) RIP!

I'm really flattered by the reactions to this thread, I hoped people would see it and realise how I intended Martha to be taken all along. Unfortunately I got an epic fail for that one, but the intent was there. But thank you everyone!